i cried today. cried because i feel like a failure.
i feel as though I have been stupefied.
it is such as simple question, simple scenario and I cannot answer it properly at all. i feel stupid. really stupid. all those learning has gone to waste.
the more I am there, there more I feel that I have become stupid and I cannot answer anything that was asked. Even simple questions about painkillers.
I just cant answer.
I feel really stupid. and I am worried.
I am stupid and worried. what now?
time to toughen up?
11/24/2009 09:04:00 PM
its has been a long while since the last time i blogged. Im not sure for how long already but it feels long. hahaha!!
it has been 3 weeks now working or having attachment at Alexandra Hospital. it has been long and tiring 3 weeks. gonna get out of OP soon. yes, very soon. 4 more days and finally i am out of there. Goodbye Ganes, Patricia, Regina, GRACE, Hui Ling, Yana, Siti, Shahril, XY, Lucita/Maria, Aunty Mary, Wei Shan, Mustakim, Is, the pregnant Philipino lady with the glasses who is very nice, Lay Kim, perfume smell and more. hahaha!! I stress on GRACE because i dont prefer her. very unapproachable. XP. I am slowly getting tired of that place now. I even got strange stuffs touching me. TOUCHING me leh....O.O
it has happened to me twice. haha!! at first it was my whole back, the second one is only middle part of my back. wow. when i told my family, they said that place is already like that. its an old place....what do u expect. and that place is very, very loaded with this kind of things. =| uh oh. hahaha!!! hwaiting!
MAMA has started and it is good. powerful performance and great crowd. i wanna watch it but i can only watch it fully tmr morning when all editing is done and that all videos are uploaded. hehehe. youtube here i come!
the FYP will not be having any proper results this time. T.T
what i mean is, there is not enough evidence to have any results, good ones. We dont have any good results to show. T.T sadded.
its like we have done it for freaking nothing. *punch machine* haiz....wasted time man...shouldnt have picked that one out as one of the choices. haiz.....now i regret.
i keep regreting alot leh...next time must think twice to 3 times before making any choices. even when getting married. X(
ok...back to that darn report...
11/21/2009 09:26:00 PM
cleanroom preparation today. it is cool. the air is fresher than anywhere else. i think that's the cleanest room in the whole school. hahaha!!! thats why its called a cleanroom. its clean.
i should start studying while waiting for my team's turn to go into that cleanroom....
missing jay now...
today scanning...haiz...the guys were late again. shaheed was suppose to come at 745 to meet me and then go to the lab to scan. but, he came late. so, to not waste any time and all that...i did the scan. he continued half of it cos, he came while i was doing it half-way...
Izzat was late. very late. he said he got family problem. thats why he was late. he even said, "you don't know what going on with my family rite? i dont want to explain also." it's as if he is saying "u dont know what's going on, so, you dont anyhow scold people." Chinggu said he is using his family as an excuse and reason for being late. I dunno....i guess you can be late sometimes, but cannot everytime late. its kindda not fair for other people to keep waiting for you to come. Other people also got their things to do. it is true that we all dunno what is going on with his family, but this is school matter, not family matter. you should be able to differentiate it and face it differently. If ur family matters are overlapping int oschool stuffs, you should know ur priorities. but, different people have different priorities, so, can't say much about that.
i think he is a little bit messed up and kindda not sure of what he should do now and what he should do later. i know that he is angry that we are angry at him and that...he thinks that he doesnt really deserve to be angry at or scolded but....he has been doing it again and again. and when we are not around, which is like a few more days only, then, its up to the guys already to finish everything up. And if they keep going there late, i scared they cannot get what we want because they were too late. I have experienced being late and its consequences and it suck. i dont want them to face the same thing too. its kindda painful.
I told chinggu about him giving attitude everytime someone were to scold him. she said,"then how? you still want me to scold him?" I dont know what to say. When he came over, thats what we got, attitude. I guess he still have not realise what he did wrong? molla.....
i just wanna know
if you feel the same...where you at where you at..
taeyang~~~i am here....parli nahwa...파리 나와
치금 alone...
10/27/2009 01:46:00 PM
yeay....my laptop finally has colour. its pink and blue. Both babies too! hahaha!! what does it contain? korean characters, roman characters and cute pictures! hahaha!! yeay~~ this is from the trip that me and jobelle go to which was just to junction 8. hahah!! the shop is comics connection. not only that! I bought Big Bang file!! so sexy.... thank u jobelle!! if u didnt find it, i won't have bought it. thank u!!!! hehe!! so so so sexy...pictures of it will be up soon! muakx to you and my file. hehehe!!!
10/25/2009 12:28:00 AM
finally it is friday and it is the weekend~~
things left to be done ASAP!:
- meeting minutes
- scanning sessions
- report
- lose weight!
haha!!! omgosh.....i really wonder how i am going to face the world after this. after poly.
Mom said, after discussing, to work first. work for about 1 year. then after that, start schooling again but part time. MDIS or somewhere...OHTOKAE...
and now, because of my sister, I am feeling very sleepy. She anyhow wake people up at 3:30AM just to ask for my password to my laptop. den still say my laptop too troublesome. In the first place why u want to use it if its so troublesome. its bad enough that u woke me up at 3:30 am when I just fell asleep, its even worst that u criticize people's stuffs. idiot. next time don't use. i wont let u use. go find other ways to go to ur facebook. X( then, after that still want to piss other people also. she pissed my brother off so much that he wanted to go jogging at 11PM just to cool off. how evil is that? people with no heart don't deserve to be treated nicely. *bash her head with a guitar repeatedly* not even greatful that people let u use their stuffs. sumore, people help u already, u still want to nag nag nag like some grandma. idiot leh you!!! ggrrr!!! my weekend is fired up because of u leh!!! i bbq u alive den u know. grrrr!!
she and that man is so same lor. eerkk...aish. so same and they don't even know it. irritating people.
in other news, i got new earrings. heheh. from youja chinggu. purple flower with green leaves. hehe yepoh. kamsa! we should go coffee bean to eat their brownies. its really nice. hehe
10/24/2009 12:04:00 AM
Some people just can't resist hitting the table as hard as they can, like to show frustration. Every time pom here, pom there. Can do things without any pom pom? Very loud some more. Can or not? Favour? Ok? If frustrated about the problem statement or something....relax and go find out. don't pom here pom there. irritating leh!
I am feeling really lousy right now. I feel very frustrated. I can't even talk to anyone normally. Even to those normal people that I talk to. I feel really, really angry for some reason that I am not quite sure of. I can't even talk to Jobelle like normal. The pom pom thing is a small thing. It can't be because of that, I am very angry? Usually this kind of thing will pass by...but something is lingering around me that makes me really, really angry.
-.- idiot lah this thing.
10/20/2009 12:23:00 PM
missing you loads...i want to see more of you.....
seriously...haiz......
i think if i have ur photo, i will keep looking at it and only at it. look at only you....hahaha!!!
ohtokae? is this love? lols....NO! HAHAHAHA
missing you.... 
10/14/2009 04:44:00 PM
